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Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

The immanently recognizable  Wienermobile, of Oscar Mayer fame, has met with an inglorious end –having un-natural carnal knowledge with a domisile.

Picture tells the story

Wienermobile, meats it's match.

Wienermobile, meats it's match.

Shocked mourners, are seen kneeling and wailing, at the great baloney’s demise.

see also:  Wienermobile Crashes Into Southern Wisconsin Home

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Thanks to all the new visitors who commented on this blog entry, when Coast To Coast Am linked over to FrankenSteams’ Log.

As an amateur weather observer, one of the first things I do in the morning after I turning on the computer, is check the East Conus Water Vapor Loop and today, this is what I saw.Summer_from_Hell-ECWV

GOES Eastern US SECTOR Water Vapor un-retouched Image -- July 15th, 2009

Demons fiery breath roasts Texas -- Summer from Hell

Demon's fiery breath roasts Texas, in the "Summer from Hell," a phrase recently popularized by George Ure of urbansurvival.com fame.

updated:  July 26th, 2009

As if it were ripped straight from the front page of a supermarket tabloid, this morning’s satellite image shows what we’ve all been thinking:  namely, there must be some exceptional reason it’s so damn hot in Texas and now we know. Demons! The fiery-hot breath of flaming demons, stoke “The Summer from Hell, ” roasting Texans in their own juices.

Austin-Camp Mabry weather records go back to 1898 and show that no other 30 day period has been hotter than what we’ve just endured!  —Burton Fitzsimmons

Hottest 30 Days in Austin Weather History!

“THE 30 DAY PERIOD FROM JUNE 15 TO JULY 14 AND AGAIN JUNE 16 TO JULY 15 THIS YEAR IS SO FAR THE WARMEST 30 DAY PERIOD OF RECORD AT AUSTIN MABRY SINCE 1898 AND AT SAN ANTONIO SINCE 1885.” — National Weather Service

San Antonio residents encouraged to ‘rat-out‘ water wasters. Deep in the heart of Texas, cattle are not king.

see also:  State Drought MonitorGOES Eastern US SECTOR Water Vapor Image, Burton Fitzsimmons, National Weather ServiceUrban Survival, Summer From Hell, CoastToCoastAM, Internet meme, Pareidolia

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Updated 07-08-2009.

“He flourished under Reagan; he languished under Clinton-Bush; and died under Obama. Let’s hope the parallel does not continue.” — Rush Limbaugh on the death of Michael Jackson. Rush Limbaugh Show, July 1, 2009

Ed McMahon. 86ed. Farrah Fawcett. Screw her! Billy Mays. Never heard of ’em.

Yes, the show that never ends, come inside, come inside. Balls-to-the-walls 24 hour “news” coverage continues, of the post 6-25, story of the century:  The Life and Death of a Pop-Star Icon. This story needs a brain. So, where are you Sir Walter, when we need you?

Meanwhile. Back at the ranch.

MJ’s body to be put on display at Neverland Ranch, (or maybe not) minus his brain, of course.

…forensic pathologists theorize that tissue, or entire organs may have been missing from Michael Jackson’s remains when they released to the Jackson family after the June 25 preliminary autopsy results. ABCNEWS (syndicate)

la_coroner_jackson_090629_ms

“…brain cannot be properly examined at the time of the autopsy. You cannot test it while it is in the body. So it is cut off at the spinal cord and removed…would usually be placed in a plastic bucket, suspended in formaldehyde fluid, and put in a refridgerator at 4C to preserve it…People don’t realise how soft the brain is. To do the type of detailed examination required you need to have the brain much harder – and for that you haveto wait for at least 10 days to two weeks.”  — Dr. Cyril Wecht, forensic pathologist.

thewiz2

– MICHAEL Jackson starred as the Scarecrow in The Wiz, the 1978 musical version of  The Wizard of Oz – playing the character without a brain opposite Diana Ross as Dorothy.

And then there’s this jewel from MJ’s tour promoter:

…promoter has said the star’s ill-fated London show could be turned into a tribute gig featuring his family.

Randy Phillips, president of AEG Live, told Sky News he was “discussing with the family” the possibility of mounting the show in some form.

“I would imagine it could be done as a tribute with the family, with the brothers performing, some sisters, and the stars that were influenced by him,” he said.

“The world needs to see this production. It would have been, which is the tragedy here, one of the most amazing shows ever.”

Just the other day I quipped, the Jackson’s should do the “tour” as a tribute to MJ. We all laughed at the absurdity, the absolute impossibility of  such a travesty ever taking place. I’d say, odds are now 50/50 it happens.

Picture tells the story

Some amazing photos were taken of the aborted auction to be helled by Juliean’s by Lindy West upon her visit to LA earlier this year where she viewed MJ’s attempt to stave off the debt collectors by staging the greatest, most kitchiest garage sale — ever.

"I'm a multidimensional creature..."

"I'm a multidimensional creature..."

Lindy West..see her slog.

And what ever became of Bubbles, anyway? And the Elephant man’s bones?

There was Bubbles the pet chimpanzee that Jackson claimed he shared a toilet with, and his claim to have purchased the bones of the legendary Elephant Man. In time most of these and other stories were revealed as fictions started by Jackson himself.

Leave it it AC360

“Jackson parted ways with Bubbles when he got too big and too hard to control.” –Anderson Cooper

Same thing happened with Macaulay Culkin.

Don’t hold back:  Congressman Pete King on MJ.

“Let’s knock out the psychobabble. He was a pervert, a child molester, he was a pedophile. And to be giving this much coverage to him, day in and day out, what does it say about us as a country? I just think we’re too politically correct.”

In his defense, we should remember, MJ was acquitted of all molestation charges. And that makes me wonder just what skeletons are hiding in the right honorable eight term Republican, soon to be senate hopeful, congressman’s closet. Like watching an episode of the Sopranos, (only in this case the shanty-Irish ones) I’m waiting for the sound of a gunshot at the end of the video…betcha anything the good congressman, gets caught trying to date some 12 year old boy on Facebook, someday.

Tarnish to the armor

Like Warhole before him, MJ’s image (once to be found everywhere at his Neverland Ranch ) as much as his music, was his signature; the man in the mirror, moon walking fool, mindless scarecrow or brave sir knight, how we remember him will depend upon how we experienced him and our recollections will be shaped by this image maker of iconic proportions.

And that’s the way it is. To be continued –you can bet.

see also:  Jackson body ‘going to Neverland’, No public Neverland memorial plannedGoodbye, Brain!Michael Jackson: The Tortured Path of A Pop Icon, Where is Bubbles?, Rush Limbaughon the Death of MJPeter T. King, Michael Jackson to be buried without his brain

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Today is Flag Day.

…commemorates the adoption of the flag of the United States.

In 1916, President Woodrow Wilson issued a proclamation that officially established June 14 as Flag Day; in August 1949, National Flag Day was established by an Act of Congress.

A flag I was unaware of until today is –the ‘Flag of Earth,’ created by James Cadle in 1970.

The Flag of Earth flies at most SETI locations around the world. It symbolizes the fact that our search is carried out on behalf of humankind as a whole. The individual people, organizations, and nations involved are immaterial, since any communication with extraterrestrial intelligence will belong to all of humanity, and represent Earth’s entry into the Galactic community.

This flag is laid out thusly: a circle of yellow, inhabiting  2/3rds of the left-hand side, representing the Sun or Sol is partially obscured by a solid blue circle centered in the middle of a black background representing the Earth, and a smaller white circle in the lower right-hand corner of the flag representing  Luna or the Moon.

Flag of Earth

Citizens of Earth!

In 1982 Ronald Reagan introduced himself in a speech to the General Assembly of the United Nations as “…both a citizen of the United States and of the world.” If we should considers ourselves citizens of Earth or the world as then President Regan did, then why don’t his acolytes (The Grinch and El RushboET all) follow the words of the man they so revere?

“I speak today as both a citizen of the United States and of the world.”  –Ronald Wilson Reagan to the United Nations General Assembly Special Session Devoted to Disarmament
June 17, 1982

Hey, Newt! Ya forgot Iran.

“Let me be clear. I am not a citizen of the world. I think the entire concept is intellectual nonsense and stunningly dangerous. There is no world sovereignty. There is no world system of law. There is in fact no circumstance under which I would like to be a citizen of North Korea, Zimbabwe, Venezuela, Cuba, or Russia. I am a citizen — I am a citizen of the United States of America.” –Newt Gingrich June 8, 2009

There’s only one Earth –Terra Firma, and (74 percent of which is covered by water) we all gotta learn ta live on it together, in peace, or the species formerly known as Homosapien will vanish from this world.

Greetings from Earth: where the males don’t wear no pants and the women don’t wear no tops.Pioneer plack

Peace, brothers and sisters, citizens –of the world.

see also: Flag Day, The Flag of Earth, Invitation to ETI, SETI League

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Montauk Monster?

Montauk Monster?

last updated:  June 2nd, 2010

…salvaged from the wreck of YAHOO 360.

Call it, ‘now, I’m really confused’ or ‘that fly on the hip thing’ –take your pick at the title ya like best! Taking another look at the original pictures, I notice a big fly (what we all here in Texas call a ‘horse fly’) on the rump of the beastie. Could be just the icing on the cake or the real thing, don’t know, (I’m conflicted, as usual) but the fly does add realism to the overall story. Still, if I was makin’ a movie prop beastie, adding ‘a fake fly to top it all of, seems reasonable.

Waiter! There's a fly on my monster.

Waiter! There

The saga of the so-called Montauk Monster appears to have taken another bizarre turn, this time toward Hollywood…movie production crew claiming…carcass.

And then there’s the little detail that all these stories are coming outta ‘Fixed News‘ –making’ it even more dubious.

Jenna Hewitt's photo of the corpse, revealed to the Internet on 29 July.

Jenna Hewitt

Montauk Monster goes all Hollywood

New eye-witness reports seem to corroborate the claim that the creature was in fact a ‘living thing’ once, perhaps a raccoon. Speculation was the ‘beastie’ was actually a model created by clever craftsmen, possibly in the hope it’s discovery would lead to the story going viral, for some feature film promotion.

Alas, the facts, as we see them on the ground are:

Looks as though it’s a (was a) dog or a raccoon!
A boy.
Ferrel.
Poor critter.
lots of  ‘eew,‘  gross photos of a carcass; that looks more domestic than exotic, a bloated dog, not the ‘Hound from Hell.’

Seen envivo.

It looked about the size of an average fox, gray in color, eyes like a mole, hairless and was breathing quite heavily,” he wrote, “needless to say we were freaked out by this discovery and fled the area quickly.

Theorised by some to be a raccoon

Theorised by some to be a raccoon

Eric Striffler, gets the scoop — watch out, Current TV.

Strange Creature Found In Panama. This Thing Is SCARY! Eric Striffler adds this update to his Youtube video.

This being said, Montauk, has been a birth place of many a mythic and mysterious monster. The survivors of the ‘Philadelphia Experiment,’ or so the story goes, re-grouped there, to carry out their experiments in the seclusion of the island. One need only do a GOOGLE search on Montauk to find just how weird a place it is. So, it should come as no surprise, strange things wash up on the beaches of Montauk, Long Island, from time to time.

The Montauk Project, was alleged to be a series of secret United States government projects, conducted at Camp Hero or Montauk Air Force Station on Montauk, Long Island, for the purpose of developing psychological warfare‘ techniques and exotic research including time travel. People had their psychic abilities enhanced… they could materialize objects out of thin air… An alien, supposedly designed a chair, [in]which an individual could sit to boost his mental and precipatory powers.

What could be more fabulously outrageous than the idea that your tax dollars have subsidized the demented experiments of an evil cabal of Navy brass, CIA shrinks, fugitive Nazis and Reptoid ETs? What could be more fantastic; than viewing them, pow-wow together, for a little high-tech, tantric voodoo?

the Montauk mind control chair

the Montauk mind control chair

How very spicy, that this panoply of government geeks and their alien pals, fired up inter-dimensional vortexes by means of a buff, naked dude who was ‘jacked‘ into a psychotronic chair — while sporting a raging boner!

Whatever it was, where ever it came from, however you project your beliefs about the structure of the universe, seeing isn’t always believing, and believing what you see, isn’t always the way to know what’s behind the darkened ‘vale of reality.’

pictured above:  Montauk mind control chair, photo collage by Earl Saathoff   (newsday.com) A photo of the “Montauk Monster”  (Photo by Christina Pampalone)

see also:  Monkauk Monster–WIKIAnother Montauk Monster Washes Ashore,  Montauk Monster Mystery,  Montauk Monster Goes HollywoodMontauk Sea CreatureMontauk Project, The Montauk ProjectThe Montauk Monster – Hell Visits The Hamptons,  Montauk Chair — Things Got Legs, Al BielekEric Striffler

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